Sirius stood still for me

The other night

It stood still

So that I could take it’s picture

Usually Sirius is dancing

When I look at it, the star sparkles

It sparkles orange, green, white, blue

Bobbing up and down

Dancing with joyful movement

Like it’s happy

Happy to see me

And we laugh

Together

And I go in

After saying goodnight

My neck aching from craning

From looking upward in the cool night air

It never occurred to me

That Sirius was trying to get my attention

That there might be a reason

It was trying to get my attention

Or that there was the possibility of communication

That might help in daily life

I thought it was unreachable

I thought that we were worlds apart

I thought that was for the future

I did not know it could be possible, now

As I write this, my dog moves my hand

Trying to get me to pet him, probably

To interact and to play

He puts his muzzle on my keyboard and stares up with those big brown eyes

Sirius, the Dog Star

Playful, friendly, loving, fierce

Bobbing back and forth, and sparkling

Every night when I’m out

Walking

It had to stand still

For my camera to focus

So I could take it’s picture

I’ve noticed that the stars

Well, sometimes they will come into focus for the camera

And sometimes not

Sometimes the moment is just for me, and the star

Sometimes I’m allowed to share

So Sirius stood still

So I would have this photo

And then want to tell this story

This is how it played out

Not too long ago

I met someone with Sirius in their eye

The blue, so bright, shining, brilliant, intense, beautiful

I had to know more

But in the eye was a warning

Like my pointer

Staring and stalking

Still and intense

What is he thinking

That is what I wanted to know

In the brilliant intensity of the gaze

A warning

What did it mean

What was it about

I was hoping

That Sirius would be there

Playful, happy, brightly lit, shining

Loyal, intense, fierce, beautiful

When it wasn’t, I felt betrayed

Betrayed by my own hopefulness

Betrayed by my own expectations

Betrayed by the desire for something that wasn’t present

Still, because I wanted to experience

The bright blue of Sirius

I allowed the blue light to visit

My mind at night

It wanted to heal me

It wanted to heal my brain

Which had felt cranky for a year and a half

After that whole energy machine incident

So I relented, and said fine, okay

And I knew that a group of beings was around me

That they represented the Sirian frequency

And a blue light in waves passed through my brain

Passed through my mind

And then sparkling stars

Of the most brilliant blue

And it was over

And my head has felt perfectly fine

Perfectly normal

Ever since then

And for this I am grateful

It never occurred to me

That all of this time

All of these months

Of dancing about

Of trying to get my attention

I never thought that it could be something more

I never considered that there was an offer

An offer to help me

An offer to do healing

An offer to assist

A simple human like me

From the stars

From Sirius

From it’s blue beaming frequency

So I stood still

Finally

And allowed myself to receive

The improvement was immediate

And there were adventures

It was so simple

So simple to allow the blue light to heal my mind

I only allowed it because I thought I had found love

But that was the warning

The warning was that the idea of love was a lure

Part of the lure was beneficial

It allowed my Sirians to approach me

But mine aren’t all there are

I stood still and considered

I watched the lights flicker and laughed to myself

Another day

Another star

Another adventure

When I looked up

At Sirius last night

I couldn’t talk to it like usual

I couldn’t laugh, or smile

My emotions were mixed

My thoughts were jumbled

I’m not sure how I feel

I am Sirian in the future

I am human now

I cannot reach that lifetime from here

I am meant to be here now

They stood by me

Trying to get my attention

Trying to offer assistance

Until they found a way to get my attention

From the level of the ground

It wasn’t easy

I didn’t understand at first

I wish you could have just talked to me

When I saw those blue eyes it scared me

The hard look, the warning, the intensity

You knew I would see you

You led me down a path that was treacherous

And then you weren’t there at the ending

I looked up at Sirius

As it hid behind the branches of the tree

Appearing, disappearing

It was hidden and hard to see

Something was blocking my ability to experience it’s energy

To see it’s brilliance

The hard cold branches

Of a tree in winter

Moving in the chilly night

I knew something was between us

That there was another presence

I’m glad I didn’t see it until the very end

Because it was scary

Because it was treacherous

Because it was alien and uncaring

I left quietly and easily

Under the cover of night

Blending in with the darkness

Slipping away to a place of comfort

I looked up at Sirius, the star, waiting

I stood still

As it moved for me

Bobbing, tentative, wanting to dance with me

But, I’m not ready to laugh again, so easily

I’m not ready to be so open

So Sirius stood still, too

And listened

Waiting

Love, Solaris

Square featured photograph above by Solaris Modalis of Sirius is color edited to highlight the star and for artistic presentation. Gold on the water and star image below by Solaris Modalis are unretouched.

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© 2020 Solaris Modalis. All Rights Reserved.  Permission is given to share this article on other blogs and websites as long as the text is posted in its entirety without alteration and with the accompanying photos, and with the author’s credit, copyright and live website links included in the article. All photographs and videos created by Solaris Modalis are not retouched or manipulated; color edits to images are specifically indicated if presented. This article was first published on March 11, 2020. This article was originally published at https://solarismodalis.com/sirius-stood-still.

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