My broken heart occurred long ago, and for a long time it was beyond my ability to remember, what had happened to me.

It was beyond my ability, to remember why I felt this way.

Yes there were incidents, in this lifetime, that brought me into contact with the memory; that assisted me in touching the feelings.

But the source of my wandering, the initiation of this journey, the beginning of why I began my search for love, eluded me.

Like a beacon through time, the pulse of my heart felt broken, and that connection was a feeling I could not recover, no matter how I tried.

Living in Past Times

As a child, I told myself stories, and long after I got to be an adult, I realized that these stories, were a history of my lifetimes; of my lifetimes in incarnation.  They were a map of what had happened as I lived life out over a very long time, eons, thousands of years.

I have drawn maps of the history that I remember, maps of my travels.  My lifetimes began not on Earth but among the stars, and crossed the galaxy until I landed, here.

I had companions on this journey, and I met them, here.  At first, I went outside myself to find love.  My love companion journeyed with me for many, many incarnations, always in the same type of relationship dynamic, and you think that would have gotten boring.  But, I convinced myself in every lifetime that this was the love I had wanted, I had been searching for.

In some lifetimes I could barely remember that I had come from love, at all.

Evolution of the Twin Flame Dynamic

I called this love my twin flame.  He felt like this to me, because I had convinced myself that everything I needed, was represented by him.  What I know now is that we were simply two Souls incarnated, serving each other through an unhealthy relationship.

I finally woke up about the nature of my relationships when I allowed myself to know I was a valuable human being, deserving of receiving love.  This is when I met what I then called my twin flame.

And I found, that my true twin flame, was me.

When I chose to connect with my higher self, and believe that I was worthy of deserving love, ‘he’ came to me, like a golden angel hovering beside me.  The unconditional love I felt for myself, emanating forth, was unlike anything I had felt before.

What I came to see, is he was me.  How is this possible?

Our Souls incarnate into this realm from a state of wholeness, and in the simplest terms, how this is worked, is that Souls leave half of themselves behind to do so.  That half is the other side of the duality that we incarnate, into. So, if we are male, our twin flame has our female energy.  If we are a being of light, our twin flame has our shadow self.  And so on.

We were one and the same energy, emanating from Soul, divided into two, and then made incarnate; higher self or guardian angel, and human self, together, one whole creation of Soul.

Where is My Home?

In this lifetime, key events conspired to ignite my passion for stories about the stars and who might live among them.

I had always felt, even in childhood, that I was a visitor here, and that somewhere else was my home.  I remember as a child, a vision of a old, old man, and I, sitting above the atmosphere of the Earth. I remember him pointing to areas of the planet, telling me about the Earth and it’s people, about the activity here, and making observations, teaching me.

Then, the crushing realization when I came to a certain age, that the place that I had remembered the most fondly, had been destroyed, long ago.  I had always thought I would return there after this lifetime, and the loss of this home put me adrift.

Where Did I Truly Belong?

As I grew more into my spirituality, I realized that ultimately my home was with my Soul, and that I could ask my higher self and Soul for breaks, to return to the feeling of home, during this lifetime.  And there were times when I asked to do so, when life was challenging.

The feeling of the stars had this feel for me – of Soul, of home.  And thus, I concentrated my activities into spending time on, and sharing stories of, the stars, as my hobby.

In my memories, I traced my personal stories back to my earliest incarnation in the galaxies.  And all I could see about where I had come from, was that I came from Light – my people were beings of light.  I knew that my ‘mother’ and ‘father’ came from there.

I had no idea about where that place was or how to get there.

Breaking My Heart: Remembering the Blue Girl 

This fall, I remembered the lifetime that started it all; that started all my journeys across time that I had remembered since I was a child.  I call this lifetime, the Blue Girl.

She was ripped from her people and her life partner, from a higher dimensional plane and existence, and was kidnapped, assaulted, raped, tortured, drugged and subjected to mind control experiments and physical imprinting.  This lifetime was eons ago, and yet it was real, up front, up close and personal.  My body ached where she ached.  I hurt where she hurt.  I felt her confusion.  I felt her despair.

Links: See The Blue Girl & Being Willing to Love, Again: An Andromedan Past Lifetime

I celebrated her victory over her captors, when she found a way to take herself out of the situation by dying and leaving her body.

Many friends and acquaintances showed up in my life as I processed the memories of the Blue Girl.  The support system that came forth is something I am deeply grateful for.

Links: See The Blue Girl From Andromeda – Quantum Physics, Spirituality and Starships (+ Video)

It is as if everything in this lifetime, was set up to help me remember, and then recover, the Blue Girl’s life experience.  I know the people involved, now, in this lifetime.  Life is full of surprises, and coincidences.  Sometimes I feel that everything has been set up just for me to have the exquisite experience of living this lifetime in all of it’s divine perfection.

And for us all, I believe that this is true.

I believe that the universe responds to our deepest needs and our deepest desires, even when we cannot voice them; even when we do not know that that is what they are.

Holding On to the Pain – the Experience of Stockholm Syndrome

Recently, I went through an exercise to give back all that I had taken on from this lifetime, back to those who had captured the Blue Girl, and who had inflicted her pain and trauma.  She had been in a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, and held all of the energies of the trauma as if she was responsible, herself, for what had happened to her, and as if she had to protect those who had caused the trauma.

This trauma had created great shame, a shame that has followed me my entire lifetime, since the blue girl has incarnated as me, now.  At times, this shame has been incapacitating, paralyzing, slowing my decisions, causing me to harshly judge myself, also.

It was so freeing, to finally let go of what was not mine.  I stood with the Blue Girl, in the space of a vision, in a circle of light, and poured out all I had taken on, until she was done, and until I was done.

Recovering Our Love

When it was all done, I watched as she and her partner, her love, stood in front of me in a vision and said goodbye.  I have worked with her partner as my spirit guide since 2011, not knowing at that time, that we were beginning a years long project of recovering his love – an incarnation of me – the Blue Girl.

The sweetness of the moment was tangible, and poignant for me.  I knew that I was beginning a new stage of my life.

The stage of my life where I am finally, free.

I am free of the past.  I am free of the cause of my sorrows.  My Blue Girl reunited with her love, and returned home, to the higher dimensions.

And I am free, here on Earth, with my golden angel guide – my Higher Self and I, one unit of the divinity of our Soul, having a human experience.

Links: See Have Courage, Take Heart

Letting Go of the Pain of Heartbreak

Last night, I lay down on the couch watching a movie, and I was overwhelmed with the pain over my heart.  Now I had just seen the doctor, and I knew that this was not a physical condition.

As I lay there, I could feel my big brother Archangel Michael sit with me in his brotherly blue, and he said to me, “you are healing from a broken heart”.

It has actually been days now, but last night was the most intense of them.  And as I watched the movie, I cried and let my body feel the feelings.

Have Courage, Take Heart

The body has it’s own timing, the body has it’s own perception.  And my body needed to be felt and my heart needed to be poured out, listened to, and reassured.  I needed to treat myself with love.

In the morning, I woke with a new sense of purpose, of mission.  I awoke and knew what was on the docket for the day, what was on the agenda.

The pain in my heart is faded; underneath it all a spark of courage is glowing. While it may take a little more time to move through this fully, the feeling that something new is beginning in me is flowing strongly.

The Star Soul: Feeling at Home, Here on Earth, Being Human

I finally feel at home. My Soul is seated and at home, pulsing like a star in the heart of my human form.

My human body is my home, here on Earth, now.  I live here connected with my Soul in my divine and human sovereignty, experiencing love generated from within. My heart feels the love of the sparkling star shining within that is my Soul. I feel the loving presence of the rest of me – my Higher Self and golden angel.

Life is a new and a grand adventure.

I have recovered my love, and my love is me.  My love comes with a feeling of freedom, and of joy.  And of the wonder of feeling that I am beginning, again.

I am beginning a new life for me.  Step, by step.  Moment, by moment.

And, I am filled with the feeling that I am making a fresh start, from the wholeness within, that is my love.

Love, Solaris

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© 2018-2020 Solaris Modalis. All Rights Reserved.  Permission is given to share this article on other blogs and websites as long as the text is posted in its entirety without alteration and with the accompanying photos, and with the author’s credit, copyright and live website links included in the article. All photographs and videos created by Solaris Modalis are not retouched or manipulated; color edits to images are specifically indicated if presented. This article was first published on January 5, 2018. This article was originally published at https://solarismodalis.com/healing-from-broken-hearthttps://solarismodalis.com/healing-from-broken-heart.

Photograph from Unsplash.com by Peyman Naderi, free license.  Color edits by Solaris Modalis.

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I’m stepping out of the matrix today.

Again.

Every time I do so, I feel those feelings: fear, wonder, confusion, excitement, possibility.

All mixed into one.

When I am anticipating, and I’m preparing, and I am dreaming of walking out of the matrix, I feel like I am about to pursue my dreams. I feel like this is how life is supposed to be.

Freedom. Doing what I love. Saying what I believe. Acting on inner guidance.

How can it be that this seem such an unusual pursuit?

What if my life goal is this:

to embody my inner divinity and live my human life this way;

to know that there is more to life than what any existing structure tells me;

to wish for peace and love to prevail among men and women of all nations;

to dream of living life without stressors and free from oppression whatever its source may be;

to live my dreams of love and creativity becoming a reality.

To quietly live a simple, hand made life.

Stepping from ‘the dream time’ into ‘reality’ can be awkward and confusing.

None of these things, none of these steps, was I taught in school.

They are learned, and earned, through life lessons.

The construct of what we are told is how things are, how things should be – let’s say this is the matrix.

Can we imagine something different?

Can we begin to live this new way, one at a time, all together?

Deep inside me, my feelings and my memories tell me a different life is possible for all of us. A different life is possible for me.

I am living this now, I am experimenting, I am taking the journey.

It is the new frontier.

It is the land of possibility.

This ground, this territory, within me.

Can I embody love for myself?

Can I embody love for my neighbors?

Can I set my boundaries strong, and with love?

Can I more than survive – can I thrive?

The confusion lies in trying to interpret that which has not occurred.

And in wishing to control that which is not controllable.

Scripture says: Declare an outcome, and I shall make it unto you.

Trust and faith show the steps along the way.

My inner child, my Soul’s essence, knows no structure or rules but her own.

She beckons me to come, play with me now.

Take your photos of the sky – write your stories.

It’s playtime, unbound.

~ Love, Solaris

Photograph free license from Unsplash.com by Varshesh Joshi.

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© 2018 Solaris Modalis. All Rights Reserved.  Permission is given to share this article on other blogs and websites as long as the text is posted in its entirety without alteration and with the accompanying photos, and with the author’s credit, copyright and live website links included in the article. All photographs and videos created by Solaris Modalis are not retouched or manipulated:  color edits to images are specifically indicated if presented.

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How we get to the place as a society where we can create human-based and human-centric solutions to our problems? I believe the answer lies in choosing to become an empowered human being. For me this means, choosing to embody my love.

On Being Human

The theme of being human has been high on my mind. As various inhuman activities are being brought to light, and human looking characters who act in inhumane ways are beginning to be dealt with, I wonder about solutions.

When I lived in another country for almost three years, I finally realized what it is to be an American. When I was deeply steeped in my own culture, I couldn’t see it as well for myself.  When I went abroad I saw what it was. I saw what about me stood out as being, American.

What is it to be human, to me? I am deeply steeped in the culture and activity of Earth, with all of it’s human and inhuman elements. I have felt into and pondered this for some time now.

Being Human is About Love

If I had to sum it up, for me, being human is about love. It is about being, doing, striving, finding, reaching for, remembering love in all it’s forms from within the range of human to inhuman circumstances.

What is the Source of that love? How do I connect as best as I can with the love within me? For me, an integral part of being human has become to understand and acknowledge my connection to my inner divinity, within. It is to know and experience my connection to my inner Soul, and of my higher self.

For me, being human is about accessing and being motivated by love while incarnated in physical form. In doing so, being human is about creating and learning and in the process becoming a whole and integrated person.

Whole and integrated meaning connected with and fully embodying what love is for me. On any given day, this can seem a tall order.

I’m sure you will have your own definition of what it is to be human, too.

What is it to Be Inhuman?

What is it to be inhuman or ‘not human’? We often hear of ‘man’s inhumanity to man’. And given my memories and personal experiences, I have to wonder – is this really about ‘man’ or about the truth of being human?

In it’s essence, inhumanity is about separating human beings from the love that they are. It is about forcing, incenting, controlling and allowing human beings to act against the love that created them.

I feel that there is a trifecta of inhumanity, and that is: 1) humans choosing to act against their inner light and personal sovereignty, 2) dark entities possessing or acting through a human being and 3) archonic control or ‘AI’ energetic and frequency control of human beings (the matrix).

In my view, the high level  and the persistence of heinous activities in the world, is about this trifecta of inhuman influence.

In many ways I feel that our societies are like the movie ‘the Matrix’, where humanity was kept in a repeating time loop, and not allowed to evolve beyond this timeframe.

There are many repeating loops of inhuman and even seemingly irrational behavior that occur and recur upon our planet: war, starvation, rape, torture, trafficking, pedophilia, violent crime, mind control. In my view it is the trifecta of inhumanity that holds these activities in place.

Being Human: A View ‘The Rules’ of Engagement

Please note that we are the master of our bodies and energy. We can make the choice within to connect with our Soul’s light and to retain that connection.

However what the darkness can do is convince us that this is not so, or wear us down physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, until the human being grants permission by surrendering, within.

It is the choice within that matters, not what appears to the outer world, as to whether a human being is truly free and sovereign, or not.

What this also means, is that as human beings choose to align with the love within their Soul, that darkness and inhumanity have no other choice but to transmute their activities or depart this realm.

This is because darkness has no power on it’s own. It can only operate with the agreement of those human beings involved in the activities. This is because of the sovereignty of their Souls. When the human beings involved choose otherwise, these activities have no energy to manifest under their own power.

Moving to Human-Based and Human-Centric Solutions

As I look at the Q phenomena, and at the activities taking place around our world bringing the light of transparency to dark activities, I see these as part of a broader effort working to clear and eliminate the power centers of inhuman activities on this planet.

What I feel in pondering what I see, hear and read, and what I sense in the energies that abound, is that solutions will be human-based.

The systems of governance, militarization, corporate profit and societal control clearly have not been human-based, but have been co-opted. Indeed, large swaths of their activities tends towards inhuman; built to fulfill inhuman agendas. Certainly most of those involved are human beings. But the agendas and outcomes? They are inhuman.

In the current energies of expansion of consciousness on this planet, I believe we have an opportunity, personally and as a group, to fully embody what being human is all about, and to take this empowered view of being human to a whole new level.

Empowered Human Beings

Human-based and human-centric solutions are built by empowered human beings. Solutions come as we empower ourselves in our daily life. What we do, in energy or in our physical actions, empowers other human beings in our world. We end up role modeling for others around us – family, friends, others in our community.

We end up shining our light.

Empowered individuals have the confidence and inner connection to step forward and create the new. We have the wish to see each other prosper. We have the wish to follow our passion; to be the love that created us.

We embody the light we are.

Sometimes just getting up and keeping going is all we can get to. Sometimes just being present and knowing the light is present within is all we are up for.

Sometimes we take action.

Moment to moment, we become the highest version of our highest self, living life in a physical body, wherever that is currently, on our personal scale of physical and energetic embodiment of our Soul and of our humanity.

We are being human.

Love, Solaris

I am an independent content creator. Your support means a great deal to me.

If you liked it, please share this article on social media, forums or email, this really helps me.

Please join my mailing list at Get the News – Join the Crew!

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2) Stay in touch independent of social media practices and policies;

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© 2018-2019 Solaris Modalis. All Rights Reserved.  Permission is given to share this article on other blogs and websites as long as the text is posted in its entirety without alteration and with the accompanying photos, and with the author’s credit, copyright and live website links included in the article. All photographs and videos created by Solaris Modalis are not retouched or manipulated; color edits to images are specifically indicated if presented. First published February 18, 2018. This article was originally published at Solaris Modalis Commentary: On Being Human.

Photograph free license from Unsplash by Avik Saha.

The post Solaris Modalis Commentary: On Being Human appeared first on Solaris Modalis.